Happy Halloween!

So today is Halloween, and it's kinda sad!! why you ask. Because this is pretty much my FAVORITE holiday,and I'm sitting it out this year, at least in the capacity that I'm used to celebrating it in. This is going to be a pretty tame one for me, but thats okay, right? No Freaker's Ball, No parties, No Tahoe, no friends. Not even too much family, most of them all went camping this weekend, and somehow i did'nt even end up going with them. I just LOVe everything attached to this holiday, the dressing up, acting like a kid, carvinig a damn pumpkin, which i didnt even do this year!! that actually kinda upsets me! ;( And Halloween in Tahoe, it has ALWAYS been the BEST! EVERYONE dresses up, everyone goes out !, definalty one of the best nights to party in Tahoe! Next year John, next year! As much as I hate it right now, I'll be fine, really, i just miss being social. I went to a bar ast night and drank my first Long Island in WAY over a month, it was pretty good! There actually is a party I was invited to tonight, my friend James Terry is throwing a party in Sacramento, "The Naughty Ball" at Zokku, a pretty cool club downtown, I did tell him I would go a few weeks ago, but now it dosent seem like I will, so what the hell am I complaining about anyways?? I guess all I'm saying is there are certain things I will miss about Tahoe, certain things I will not, Halloween is one of the things i will miss this year! The only party I will be attending this Halloween is my Goddaughter, Selena's (Su-le-nuh) Princess party at John's Incredible pizza, she will be turning 4, she will be Snow White, so I guess that makes up for it all, like all of my neices and nephews I have unfortunatley missed some birthdays, so I am VERY happy to be here for this. So Happy Halloween to everyone, however you may be celebrating this holiday, i hope everyone has fun, and is safe, love you all!!!

I love walking, Grapeade and my Sissy!

So, I still haven't hit the streets yet, but I got a call back from one of the resumes I posted online. The job is for a Front Desk Superviser at a local hotel chain, so i scheduled an interview for tomorrow, so we'll see. I am pretty stoked about NOT having to to do the whole "scouring" for a job thing, not YET at least. I figure while I'm all spit shined up tomorrow I will drop a few resumes before the weekend, get the ball rollin, ya know. So ya, Im pretty excited, and interested to see what the hotel is like, hopefully it's pretty decent. So that all means that TODAY i will be getting my hairs cut. i know what you are all thinking, FINALLY!!! I know! Unpacking, I've been looking all all kinds of old pics and thinking to myself, "I remember when I used to look like that! So you'll be able to see my face again! I'll post pics! So yesterday I took a walk around the neighborhood just for the hell of it ( i was BORED!). It's a really cool area, all old style houses, tree lined streets (not like the trees in Tahoe! ;) ), very "cute'. And you will all be happy to know that the three closest liquor stores to me ALL carry Arizona Grapeade!!!!!! ( You all know how important my Arizona's are to me!!) So you can imagine how exciting that was. I also met another neighbor, well not RIGHT next door to me, but a block away or so, some younger guy who was hanging out on his front porch smoking, he saw me walking and asked if I needed a ride. I declined since the purpose of my walk was simply to explore, but did stop and chat for a few minutes of friendly conversation. It sucks tho cause I forgot his name!!! hahaha! He livs close, I'm sure I'll see him again. Oh yea, how could I forget! SO i got this crazy myspace message the other day, and it was from an one of my older sisters, not my BELOVED sister Selina, but one of the sisters from my Dad's side, that I havent seen in OVER ten years or so. I accepted her friend request but havent replied to her message yet. The last time I had anything to do with either one of them, I was like 16 or something, going through all my own shit at the time, and they were around my age now, (well one is 37 now, one is 32 or something) and they were both going through whatever it is they were going through at the time, so I guess you could say I didnt care too much about "needing" them in my life, I was never raised with either one of them, and before that had very limited contact with them in a few years, when i was around 13, 14 i did try and get to know them but like I said they had their own lives going on, (drugs, crazy bf's, whatever...) So at one point I decided I didnt really need them in my life. Even though i had the void of my Dad not beiong around I always felt like I had a sister, the best sister anyone could have, and I didnt have that void to fill. And I still feel that way, especially after the past few years, you all know what my life has been like, the ups, the downs, and i definatley have EVERYTHING I need and more in a "sister". As I get older though, I dont feel the need to "replace" her or anything, and if i take the step to have anything to do with them, thats not what it'll be about, because I do feel like I have no negativity towards them, like I said years have passed and I have been through all my own shit and can maybe relate to them more than i ever could have, so we'll see. I love you Sissy!

kittens

update! So, im pretty much all moved in to the new place, I've just left a few things around here and there but should be done soon. I did unpack most of my things and put together my room pretty quick, as much as I wanted to put it off, I thought to myself, "What would Angelina say?"!!! So I did as much as I could! ;) I think I'm really going to like it here, I've yet to really explore the neighborhood, maybe I'll take a little stroll around later today. I've only met one of our direct neighbors, this guy who lives with a couple and their kid, young white guy, seems around my age, possible smoking buddy??? Meeting new people..... crazy! So, I'm not sure but I'm thinking about taking another stab at having a kitten, i really need a best friend, but what if they dont like me!! Cat's are vry unpredictable, and I'm still a little traumatized about my attemp of adopting a cat last year, I think we all remember what happened to Pepper....;( So, i know as crazy as it sounds i still haven't started looking for a new job yet! I know, I know! One thing at a time, now that i'm all moved in I will take that next step, I'm the typ of person thta needs to FOCUS one one thing before I should start taking on several tasks and end up finishing NOTHING, so yea, I mean I've sent out some resumes online, and applied to wherever I can online, but haven't actually "hit the streets". But when I do I can start looking at places close to here, it seems like there is ALOt more than there used to be downtown, so gimme a few days and I'll let you all know how it goes. But yea thats it for now. Think Kittens!!

just checking in...

I know, its been a few days, ive just been figuring out some stuff (my living situation... i was supposed to move into a place, but i decided to at least postpone that for now beacuse i think its too damn far away!) which is all set and starting to move in, well I will be this week, so YAY!!! that'll be fun. i'll fill you all in on details as they unfold, but basically Im moving in with my Tia Liz, who can definatley outshine me in the crazy department, so i'm sure that'll be lots of fun!! But it's cool she lives in a really cute place right near downtown Modesto, which is cool for me because right now with no liscence (and my Mom is being pretty strict about me driving with no liscence) it's very centrally located , so I can just go out and do things without HAVING to drive, everything is pretty close, places to work, bars, grocery store, all of that all in walking distance, so yea Im stoked, just have to organixe all my crap so Im not moving in shit I dont need. but yea, ill keep you posted as cool things happen.

Missing some people

Just some pics of some very special people to me back in Tahoe, not everyone, but most of my favorites, I miss you all and i love you!!! (from the top its l-r, Tristen, Angelina, Jess, Jason , Cale, Ana, Rich, Jenna, Double, Meg, Caitlin & Tom)

The world is my oysta!!

Theese past few days have been good, tons more family, and thats exactly what I need right now. I'm not saying I'm not a strong person, but not right now, that's for sure. If you know anything about me you'll know that no matter how strong I am, or how confident I might seem, you know that I can be a blustery ball of insecurity like anyone else. I try and look at my insecurities not as weaknesses, but more like an oppurtunity to grow and become stronger.... right?? Just trying to keep a positive spin on things....keep myself from going crazy! So basically, I'm taking the next few days to finish all the "life" brainstorming. I've got a list of places I want to apply for jobs at, I got a list of places that people have told me to apply at, and a few other lists, (1) legal crap I need to take care of. (2) idealistic possibilities for the future. I still have to round up the nessisary paperwork, and then YAY!! I get to play "staring over"!!!! soooo exciting!! ;( . As sarcastic as I may sound, it is a little exciting, you know the whole, "the world is my oyster", "endless possibilities" mumbo jumbo.